It's really interesting to see how some people try to get revenge from you about what has happened to them while you had nothing to do with it!!! as long as they have power over you,they do whatever one can imagine to make others believe that hey I'm higher..hey,you are nobody....
unfortunately this semester,we faced a typical example of such a person...she was our critic professor...she was young and was experiencing her first time of university teaching!!!! believe it or not,we became her puppets,a laboratory to examine what is good and what is not..this course was really important to all of us,as literature is above all being able to criticize what you read!!!! anyway, time passed and exam time arrived!!! it was our second exam,we all were very stressful..I myself was dying...the exam was at 10...we were all in the class waiting for this lady to come, starring at the door,listening to footsteps..nothing,nothing,nothing...she wasn't coming!!! the stress was that much that all the time I was shouting at everyone...at 12,our dear " RESPONSIBLE" staff came and asked us to sit in the class again for the exam...I was angry to death,because I'd already lost my tour-leader final exam after waiting for it so long!!! we weren't in good positions..we all were wrecked inside..so we refused,we asked them to rearrange another day and time for the exam...and the funny thing!!! the funny thing was that we were sentenced in this event,that all has happened is because of us,but we couldn't see any relation and this made us become soooooo angry,kinda mad!!!!
anyway,after a long time,nearly 4 hours shouting,crying and even begging,they changed the day!!! it was our last exam,and we all did study very much..the book was extremely hard,but we said nothing and studied it...the questions were truly weird,very uncountably hard..but we again answered..I knew I had passed it..I was sure about it...BUT today I can say that as far as I know 10 students,including me, have been failed, and the others are all 10,11,or 12!!!!
It can be a record in the university!!! we all are shocked and angry to death..that how can a person be this much selfish and bad mannered,acting like this even as a professor in the university...besides,we see how the staff are all on her side,trying to hammer all of us!!!this is how it always been,students in the university are considered nothing but as sheep!!!
now dear Mrs. Marrandi, I'm asking you..WHY? what have we done? why aren't you on our side,trying to help us..make us calm???? I myself never ever imagined myself failing any course..you know me, you know all of us...we all are down..no trust in you nor the staff...how are you gonna make it? hammering us more?..or..............

sometimes we face things in life, that you find yourself so weak in bearing all that though it may seem to be very small for others...nearly a month ago i broke up with my boy friend whom I really loved..it was very painful,couldn't really believe that!!! I can really say this, I didn't sleep nor eat in this month!!! I've lost nearly 7 kilogramms, and a little of my confidence...

I found myself very weak in a hard situation... so many whys were flying in my head, and there was no answer..I was mad at God for treating me ,who loves him sooooo much ,this much bad!!

I was near to lose all my faith and hope for living...couldn't understand why a person must be this important for me,when I even know he has no feelings and emotions for me... I felt broken inside, like nothing is left for me...I used to be very proud,not paying attention to any boy...don't really know what happened that I accepted him as my boyfriend,and what happened that I fell in love with him... my friends really couldn't believe it!!!

I wanted to prove myself somethings,that I failed..now I'm afraid to take any step,in any way!!!

it's very bad to find your self this weak!!! I can claim easily that I'm a very successful girl, studying my favorite major,working,playing violin,being a tour guide!!! everything is ok except this weird feelings inside,that is hurting me so much!!!

I dont love him anymore like I used to..but still sometimes I miss him so badly!!! am not sure if it's normal or not,but am sure of one thing,am gonna be better..life won't wait for me,I must run after it...I just don't get people sometimes,their selfishness,and loveless hearts!!!

they are not bad people but they do others bad without knowing!!!

now, the only thing I really need is a quiet place,in the middle of nature..with myslef and God!!! I'm really tired of people,their strange acts that I really don't get,their differences which they think they are sure about them while they are not,or they think they are better again while they are not!!! when will they stop this stupidity, I really don't know!!!

I'm always smiling at life,its beauty,and unpredictable things in it..but sometimes this smiling is very hard...its beauty fades away many times,and only remains in your heart and mind, people whom are always hopeless,tired and depress have lost that image in their heart and mind...I don't wanna be one of them...so I'll try my best to recover this damaged feelings..I'll try to be me again...mehrnaz will be back soon :P